Even Characters in Gintama Read Fanfiction
by AL19
Summary: The cast of Gintama gives "advice" to writers who write Gintama fanfiction. *Note: Not supposed to be taken seriously*
1. Gintoki Sakata

**Yes, I know that this idea is pretty cliché, but I don't think this has _ever _been done in the Gintama archive (Perhaps I can see why, though), so...yeah. By the way, the "letters" here are not based on my opinion (You can actually write whatever you want, as long as your grammar's good. :P). And this is not to be taken seriously. Well, enjoy!**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

First off, why the _hell_ am I always paired with that bastard Hijikata?! Have you forgotten that he's my _arch rival_?! Just because we hate each other, doesn't mean we're secret lovers! And even if I was gay, I would never want to be with Oogushi-Kun, because he's addicted to mayonnaise (Which is fucking gross)!

As for females, the only female I'd _ever_ want to be paired with is Ana Ketsuno! You probably don't remember (At all) that I've had a crush on Ketsuno-San for as long as I can remember. So why are there literally _no_ fics about us?! Do you not like Ketsuno-San that much?! Are you pretending that she doesn't exist?!

I've recently found out that one of the most popular pairings in Gintama is me and Tsukuyo…are you freaking serious?! I don't love that woman! First of all, she gets drunk the _second _she takes a drink of sake! Do you have any idea how much hell I (Plus some of my friends) had to go through without getting killed?!

So long story short, don't pair me with her, or Otae-San, Sa-Chan (She's a stalker, for crying out loud!), Kagura (I'm _not_ a pedophile, by the way.), and any other girl in Gintama you can think of. As for your original characters – from what I've seen, most of them are paired with me – even if you manage to still keep me in-character, it will not change my feelings for Ketsuno-San.

I think I'm done. I need some strawberry milk.

Sincerely, Gintoki Sakata

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**In case I get some of the characters OOC throughout this "story", then I apologize. And as I said, these "letters" are not based on my opinion. For example, I love GinTsu (Though I think I prefer the genderbent version of this pairing. XD)**

**By the way, I'm _not_ going to do all the characters in Gintama for this. The only characters I'm not going to do are ones that have only been in Gintama for less than five episodes, and ones that don't have any fics about them.**

**I don't expect anyone to review this, but hope you enjoyed Gintoki Sakata's "letter"! :)**


	2. Kagura

**Yueren shirahane: I like GinHiji too, though I rarely, if ever, write them. XD**

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Really? Then I guess it's a good thing I started this. LOL**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

I do _not_ love that sadist. I've _never_ loved that sadist, and I _never_ will, nope. Just because we're rivals, and tend to fight a lot whenever we see each other, _doesn't_ mean that I have warm feelings for that bastard. And in almost every story I'm in – when I'm the main character, at least – there's either me kissing sadist (And you people sometimes make me out-of-character, which is _absolutely_ unacceptable, uh-huh), or me being a Tsundere whenever I'm around sadist. I'm going to repeat myself; I have _no_ feelings for that sadistic bastard, nope.

What's even worse is that you sick people sometimes pair me up with my _brother_! Do you have _any_ idea how disgusting that is?! And even if idiot Kamui wasn't my brother, I would _never_ want to be paired up with him, because I hate him to the core of my stomach, uh-huh! If you're going to write a story about me and my idiotic brother, then I suggest you write something where I actually kick his ass, uh-huh! I'm _sick_ of being the weakling!

Oh, I also forgot to mention something, uh-huh. You do remember that I'm a Yato, right? So why do you losers (A.K.A. Fanfiction authors) always pair me up with humans (Especially Gin-Chan, because you idiots think he's a pedo-phoria)? You do know that a Yato and human pairing wouldn't work out, right? Though, to be honest, I kind of want to be paired with Hisashi, because he _is_ kind to me, uh-huh. And speaking of which, I know he's been in only one episode, but why don't you at least write a one-shot about our friendship? I'd definitely appreciate that, uh-huh.

But other than that, you authors pair me with the weirdest people ever, uh-huh.

Sincerely, Kagura

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**Kagura was actually supposed to say "pedophile", but apparently, she forgot the actual word of it. LOL And I've been thinking about writing a one-shot about her friendship with Hisashi, but I'm not sure yet.**

**You can probably guess who's going to be next. :P**

**Hope you enjoyed Kagura's "letter"! :)**


	3. Shinpachi Shimura

**Dokiprez: Haha, I'm sure Kagura will have "fun" reading them. XD**

**Daniloveswriting: R-Really?! Thank you! X3 Like I said, I did this, because nobody else did it. :P But I'm glad you're enjoying this! ^^**

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: LOL XD**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

I don't have much to complain about, really. Most of you manage to still keep me in-character, and I appreciate that.

What I don't like, however, is authors who write their stories with _bad_ grammar. I'm not a grammar Nazi, but having too many typos in a single chapter/one-shot is unacceptable. I can understand if English is not your first language, and that your English is not the best, but that's _barely _an excuse for having excessive typos in your story.

If you want to make your story clearer (Meaning better grammar), then search for a beta-reader, or at least wait until your English improves.

Oops, I got to get going now. Otsu's concert is about to start!

Sincerely, Shinpachi Shimura

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**Yeah, there aren't very many fics that have Shinpachi as a major character. XP And I'm going to admit that I'm somewhat of a grammar Nazi...at least, to what _I'm_ writing. LOL**

**Anyway, the next character will be Shinpachi's sister, Tae (Yeah, I felt like spoiling you, already. XD).**

**Hope you enjoyed Shinpachi's "letter"! :)**


	4. Tae Shimura

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: I can only accept bad grammar if it's in a review (As long as it makes sense). For stories, that's another story. XP**

**Ale: I looked up to see if there were any GinKetsuno fics, and there were none. Well, I don't care for Ketsuno, anyway. :P And Gintama is a shonen anime, so I don't expect any pairings to become canon. I also dislike Okita, because he's _too_ sadistic. Yeah, Kagura looks exactly like a human, which is why I'm starting to question why Sorachi did that in the first place. XP I also dislike Gin being paired with Kagura or Shinpachi. I hate pedophiles, so yeah. And it's okay. I'm fine with your rambling. XD Your grammar's fine. :P**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

There are a few things I don't quite understand. Why am I sometimes paired with Gin-San and Hijikata-San? I mean, yes, I like Gin-San, but only as a _friend_, even though he sometimes angers me to the point where I grab his silver-perm. As for Hijikata-San…actually, I'm _really _confused about me being paired with the Vice-Commander.

Out of curiosity, why do you pair me up with Hijikata-San? Is it because of the "Time Skip" arc? Or is it for no reason (Since there are fics of us that were written long before the "Time Skip" arc)?

Oops, there's something I forgot to add! Why am I also sometimes paired with that gorilla? You do remember that he stalks me, right? And isn't it so ironic that he stalks me, yet he's the Chief of the Shinsengumi?

Alright, now that I'm done writing this letter, would you authors like to try some of my tamagoyaki?

Sincerely, Tae Shimura

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**Er, I hope I didn't make Tae too out-of-character for her letter. XP And I was going to mention KyuTae fics, but I decided not to.**

**Hope you enjoyed Tae's "letter"! :)**


	5. Sadaharu

**Dokiprez: It's fine. You don't have to apologize, unless you're being mean towards me. :P Well, I didn't really think of that at first, but maybe I'll do that when I'm almost done with this "story". XD**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

Why am I suddenly forgotten? Hell, why do I rarely appear in the Gintama anime, anymore? Am I not that special to you, or even to Sorachi-Sensei?

If that's the case, then you should feel a bit ashamed. I should remind you that I am also part of the Yorozuya, but despite that, more than half the stories don't have me in it. Come on, can't you put me in your story once in a while, even if it's just a cameo?

Guess nobody remembers me, after all. Maybe me chomping on Gintoki's head will make me feel better.

Sincerely, Sadaharu

P.S. Before you ask how I wrote this letter, since I'm an inugami, I should have you know that I somehow managed to write it on my own, since I can't speak like a human – or Yato – being.

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**I KNOW I MADE SADAHARU OOC FOR HIS LETTER! THAT WAS KIND OF ON PURPOSE!**

**You're probably shocked that I did one for Sadaharu, huh? XD Actually, at first, I was contemplating on whether or not to write one for Sadaharu, but since, apparently, no one remembers him, I decided to do it, after all. :P**

**Hope you enjoyed Sadaharu's "letter"! :)**


	6. Toshiro Hijikata

**Yamadadhy: Haha, it seems like you read my mind, because this letter is Toshi's. XD**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

If I see _one more_ fic that involves me having sex with that Yorozuya bastard, I'm going to make all you sick fangirls commit seppuku!

Ahem, anyway, aside from the threat I just made to those annoying fangirls, I don't have that much to complain about, for the truth. Actually, I have _one_ complaint. Almost every time I'm paired with an OC, the OC is annoying, and I somehow fall in love with them by the end of a story. That barely makes any sense.

I may not be the kind of person who falls in love with women easily (Since I get angry a bit easily), but at least pair me with an OC who _isn't _all that annoying. Then again, I don't have any time for relationships, so the chances of me actually being with a girl are slim to none. I already have enough problems with Sougo, who's still trying to kill me.

Sincerely, Toshiro Hijikata

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**I actually wrote a Hiji/OC story, and my OC is annoying as well. XD But my Hiji/OC story is about a year old, so it's slightly amateurish. **

**But if you like Hiji/OC stories, check out "Innocence" by Sisi427. It's really good. :D**

**Hope you enjoyed Toshiro's "letter"! :)**


	7. Sougo Okita

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: I'm going to admit that I am a huge fan of OC's, and I'm fine with Mary-Sue, as long as they're written well. :P**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

It's true that I fight, and insult China whenever we see each other, but why do you automatically think that we love one another? The only reason why we want to see each other is because China wants to kick my ass, and I want to be the only person to defeat her. Apparently, "fights between rivals" equals "expressing secret love". Jeez, even saying the word "love" makes me want to hurl.

Anyway, here's another thing I don't get. Sometimes I'm paired with Hijikata-San, and Nobume Imai. First of all, me trying to kill Hijikata-San – just to take his role as Vice-Chief – doesn't mean that I'm actually in love with him. I'm not a homosexual, you know. As for Nobume Imai, we would never make a good couple, because we _loathe_ each other. Sure, she's a sadist, like me, but I'm pretty sure she hates me more than I hate her.

Oh, and one more thing. When you're pairing me up with an OC, _don't_ make me stop doing sadistic things by the time I start falling for her. As I've said, I'm a sadist, and the only person I would never do sadistic things to is my sister (Even though she passed away, which I'm going to admit that I'm still sad about that).

Sincerely, Sougo Okita

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**I am quite confused on why a lot of people like Sougo and Nobume as a couple. Is it because they're both sadists, or is it because they're rivals? Well, whether I get an answer or not, I will still be confused.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed Sougo's "letter"! :)**


	8. Isao Kondo

Dear Fanfiction writers,

STOP REFERRING TO ME AS "GORILLA-SAN"! IF I WAS REALLY A GORILLA, THEN I WOULDN'T BE TALKING RIGHT NOW! HECK, I WOULDN'T EVEN BE THE CHIEF OF THE SHINSENGUMI RIGHT NOW!

Okay, now that I've calmed down from my depression, I can write this note clearly. I understand that I'm not a very popular character in the original Gintama series (Which is probably the reason why there are only less than 20 stories that have me as the main character), but why are there only _six _fics of me and Otae-Chan?! Is it because I stalk her?! Fanfiction authors, I stalk Otae-Chan because I _love_ her! I'm not a creep like that old guy, who stole Otae-Chan's panties back in episode 18! Though, I still want to touch her panties…THAT'S NOT THE POINT, HERE!

It's understandable that it'd be hard to still keep Otae-Chan in-character while writing a story about us, but – as much as I don't like to admit it – I wouldn't mind having Otae-Chan be just a _little_ OOC (Not too OOC, though, because I'd feel weird about that). And by that, I mean that if Otae-Chan would at least go on a date with me, then I'd be _truly_ happy!

Sincerely, Isao Kondo

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**Before you ask, yes, there're only six stories that center around Kondo and Tae (That, and there're 17 stories that have Kondo as the main [Or at least one of the main] character). Oh well, I don't really care for Kondo, so I don't mind the lack of fics about them. :P**

**I'll be doing one more Shinsengumi member. I don't think I need to say who it is. XD**

**Hope you enjoyed Isao's "letter"! :)**


	9. Sagaru Yamazaki

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: You're right, it wasn't a letter. Kondo's just depressed, that's all. XD**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

So…I was practically forced to read stories off of the Fanfiction website, and when I saw how many stories that had me as the main character, I was utterly shocked. And I wasn't shocked in a good way. I mean I was _horrified_.

If you're confused on what I'm saying, then I'll explain. The people I'm (Or should I say "was", since most of these stories – that featured me – were written between 2008-2010) with, when it comes to romance, are Hijikata-San, Shinpachi-Kun, Bansai Kawakami, and Tama (Though there's only one story about us). I can't exactly complain about me being paired with Shinpachi-Kun, since there're only three or four fics of us – which I'm glad, because he's my rival – but dear lord, WHY DO YOU AUTHORS PAIR ME WITH HIJIKATA-SAN AND BANSAI KAWAKAMI?!

Hijikata-San tends to beat me up whenever he catches me playing badminton (Even though I rarely play badminton anymore, due to my addiction to anpans), and although I respect the Vice-Commander, I would _not_ want to be paired with him! It's scary enough when he beats me up!

As for Bansai Kawakami…Fanfiction authors, there's no way to say this without yelling. BANSAI KAWAKAMI NEARLY _KILLED_ ME WHEN HE TRIED TO PREVENT ME FROM TELLING KONDO-SAN ABOUT ITO! WHAT THE HECK IS SO ROMANTIC ABOUT _THAT_?! BESIDES, WE'VE ONLY MET ONCE, AND THE ONLY THING I KNOW ABOUT BANSAI IS THAT HE'S PART OF THE KIHEITAI! AND THE REASON WHY HE DIDN'T KILL ME WAS BECAUSE HE WANTED TO LISTEN TO MY "SONG" FOR A LITTLE LONGER, THOUGH I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HE MEANT BY THAT!

Okay, I think I've calmed down now. Anyway, I'm apparently a forgettable character, since I hardly get any screen time in both the anime, and in Fanfiction. But to those who actually remember me, how about you try to write something different? Like how I joined the Shinsengumi, or how I became a spy?

I'm done reading Fanfiction. I need to eat some anpans.

Sincerely, Sagaru Yamazaki

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**I sort of like BansaixYamazaki, but I'm not too crazy about it. :P**

**Hope you enjoyed Sagaru's "letter"! :)**


	10. Kotaro Katsura

**Anpananpan: Anytime. :) I'm tempted to do most of the Gintama characters, but like I said, the only characters I won't do are ones that have been in _very _few episodes, and ones that don't have fics about them.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

I do not have romantic feelings for that bastard Takasugi. I also do not have any romantic feelings for Gintoki. Hasn't anybody ever told you that friendships or rivalry _don't_ equal romantic relationships? I actually _despise_ Takasugi, and I even once said that the next time I – plus Gintoki – saw him, I would destroy (A.K.A. Kill) him. And believe me, I've been keeping my word since then, and the last time I actually saw him in person was near the end of the Benizakura arc. So think about that before you decide to start writing a story about me and that bastard Takasugi.

While I'm on the subject of romance, for females, I'm mostly paired with Ikumatsu-Dono. While I appreciate some people writing fics about us (Since I somewhat have feelings for her), unfortunately, Ikumatsu-Dono still – and probably only – loves her late husband. I am sad, I'll admit, but I'm going to have to accept that, since life doesn't always have happy endings.

Sincerely, Kotaro "Zura" Katsura

P.S. Does anybody think that it's slightly ironic, and a bit ridiculous, that I almost look like Takasugi (Perhaps that was the point, though) in the second Gintama movie, aside from my long hair?

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**For some reason, I'm addicted to this fic. o.o**

**Anyway, there're two things you should know before you ask. One: I have not seen the second movie yet, but I (Obviously) saw scans of it. And two: No, I won't be doing an Ikumatsu letter. I know that's mean of me to say, but she's been in _one_ episode, and even if I were to re-watch the episode with her in it, it's still not enough for me to completely understand her character (I don't know how else to explain it, so I hope you're not confused). And also, I rarely read the Gintama manga anymore, so I _won't_ be reading the Ikumatsu arc (Yes, I am being very stubborn, but I don't care).**

**By the way, I'm not so sure if I want to do an Elizabeth letter, because there's not much to say about "her", when it comes to fanfiction. ^^;**

**Hope you enjoyed Kotaro's "letter"! :)**


	11. Shinsuke Takasugi

**DanTE1203: Hehe, apparently, that slipped my mind. XD**

**Rinoaterra: Don't worry, I'll write Tsukuyo and Kyubei's letter, but they won't appear for a while (Though I update this quickly, since they're short, so you'll mostly likely see their letters very soon. XD). As for Kamui's letter, again, don't worry! I'll do one for him.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

It seems that I'm pretty popular, when it comes to Fanfiction. I may be amused by this, but I am also angry – and disturbed – at a few things.

First off, whose rotten mind first thought of the idea of me being paired with Kamui? You probably don't remember this, but I incredibly _despise_ Amanto. Kamui may look human, but that does _not_ change the fact that he's a Yato. So me being paired with him makes me look like a _complete_ idiot.

You can get away with me being paired with Gintoki, Zura, and even Sakamoto (Though him being paired me is very rare, because nobody likes Sakamoto), but I will not – I repeat, _not_ – let you get away with me being paired with Kamui! I will hunt you down, and destroy you faster than you can say 1-2-3! Because, although I don't want to admit it, I would _much _rather be paired with Matako than my rivals, who're all male (I will also destroy you for making me fall in love with them).

Sincerely, Shinsuke Takasugi

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**In case you didn't look at my profile, I _hate _KamuTaka more than OkiKagu. I don't get why people pair Kamui up with Shinsuke. I mean, doesn't Shinsuke hate Amanto? ._.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed Shinsuke's "letter"! :)**


	12. Bansai Kawakami

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Haha, I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates KamuTaka. XD And drawings of them, whether they're making out or having sex, make me cringe. Anyway, you'll find that out when it's Tatsuma's turn to write a letter (For the truth, I'm EAGER to write his letter. I just love him so much! It's sad that he doesn't get much love! :().**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

I don't often appear in Fanfiction, but I could care less, I daresay. I am listening to your tunes, and from how it sounds, it seems that one of the reasons why I hardly ever appear in your stories is because I'm a difficult character to write. I can see why, though, because – from what I've heard – I'm a very mysterious character, who tends to listen to peoples songs, and add "I daresay" at the end of most of my sentences.

I know some Fanfiction authors have made up a backstory for me, but Sorachi-Dono still hasn't revealed my past (Such as how I began to listen to peoples' songs, or how I met Shinsuke, Matako, and Takechi) in the Gintama manga. I know I sound like I'm not complaining, but I really am, I daresay. And as much as I appreciate you authors making a backstory for me, I'm still patiently waiting for Sorachi-Dono to reveal the truth on how I _really_ met Shinsuke.

And to those who're wondering what my eyes look like, the only hint I'll give you is they're small, I daresay.

Sincerely, Bansai Kawakami

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**Although Bansai's one of my favorite characters in Gintama, his letter was difficult to write. And yeah, I've seen a few fics where they mention the color of his eyes. My guess is that he has light-green eyes, but of course, we don't know (I wonder if Sorachi will _ever _reveal his eyes). Though I'm fairly certain that his eyes are small.**

**Hope you enjoyed Bansai's "letter"! :)**


	13. Matako Kijima

Dear Fanfiction writers,

I know I've only appeared at least twice in both the anime and manga, but – for the love of Christ – at least show me _some _appreciation! I'm tired of being unnoticed, and I'm _more_ tired of seeing Shinsuke-Sama with a girl (A.K.A. OC) that isn't me! I am _very _protective of Shinsuke-Sama, and I will admit that I still have a crush on him, so enough with the OC's being paired with him already! As I said, I'm tired of it!

Although I have a crush on Shinsuke-Sama, I'm not going to make him love me back, since I'll also admit he's a pretty cold person. In fact, it would probably take a _lot_ for him to love me back (You _really _should think about that before writing something that involves pairing an OC with Shinsuke-Sama). Though, there's only one fic about me and Shinsuke-Sama, so I guess I should be happy about that (Even if it is just one). But then again, we – as in the whole Kiheitai crew – don't have any time for romance, because we're still planning on defeating the Harusame.

And another thing, I know this has nothing to do with Fanfiction, but why are there so many drawings of me and Bansai-Senpai together? As I stated earlier, I only have a crush on Shinsuke-Sama. I like Bansai-Senpai, but not in a romantic way. Besides, he's a weird guy. If you want him to be paired with a female, then how about you pair _him_ with an OC, instead of Shinsuke-Sama? That way, I won't have to be so irritated.

Sincerely, Matako Kijima

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**Sorry Matako, but no matter how much you complain, I'm still gonna write Shinsuke/OC stories! XD**

**I'm not too happy with her letter, but I hope this wasn't bad. :P I don't think I'll do a Takechi letter, because there's not a lot to say for him.**

**Hope you enjoyed Matako's "letter"! :)**


	14. Tatsuma Sakamoto

**Rinoaterra: I agree. All Takechi does is stand around, and say, "I'm not a lolicon. I'm a feminist". He doesn't even like to fight (I'm kind of wondering why he joined the Kiheitai)!**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

I am saddened that I get very little attention, but it doesn't stop me from laughing. Ahahahahaha! Anyway, I understand that I don't appear in the anime very often, but for the sake of life (It's not supposed to make sense. Ahahahahaha!), it seems that I'm _more _forgotten when it comes to Fanfiction! Ahahahahaha! Even when authors write stories that're set in the Joui war, they almost _never_ include me, despite me being part of the Joui four! Ahahahahaha!

However, most of the fics that do have me as a primary character, I'm paired with Mutsu. Fanfiction authors, I only love Oryou, so it's almost impossible for me to change my feelings for her, and fall in love with Mutsu (Unless I accidentally mistake her for Oryou when I'm drunk). Besides, Mutsu's probably not interested into dating, and stuff like that, so it's very unlikely that she would fall for me.

But other than that, everyone forgets about me. Over 90% (At least, that's what I'm assuming) of the stories in the Gintama archive don't include me, not even a cameo! My name is mostly mentioned, but that's not saying much! Come on, I'd appreciate it if you actually added me in some of your stories. Don't worry about not getting reviews, just _please_ at least add me in your story once in a while!

Wow, I just realized that I barely laughed in this letter. Ahahahahaha! Guess I was so upset, that my laughter died out! Ahahahahaha!

Sincerely, Tatsuma Sakamoto

P.S. Tell Kintoki I said "hi"!

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**Tatsuma needs more appreciation, if his letter wasn't _painfully _obvious enough. :(**

**I don't read Joui fics, but I'm pretty convinced that most authors don't include him in them. Seriously? *face-palms***

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed Tatsuma's "letter"! :)**


	15. Mutsu

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Yeah, Mutsu apparently is his babysitter, but I still love Tatsuma. He's a funny character, and he's pretty badass when he gets serious. XD**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

It has become apparent that Sakamoto-San and I are meant for each other. Think again, Fanfiction authors.

It is true that I'm the only female in the Kaientai crew, but what made you automatically think that Sakamoto-San and I should be a couple? Is it because I have to help him every time he messes up something, or is it because he's the captain, and I'm his merchant? Well, whatever the reason is, it doesn't make much sense, because I'm not the type of person who wants to be in love and such. Besides, Sakamoto-San's too idiotic and optimistic for me.

Also, if I remember correctly, Sakamoto-San loves a woman named Oryou, and from what I've heard in historical facts, Ryoma Sakamoto and Oryou got married. Most of you Gintama fans love Katsura and Ikumatsu as a couple, probably because the real Kogoro Katsura (Whose real name was Kido Takayoshi) and Ikumatsu got married as well; yet you prefer to have me paired with Sakamoto-San, despite the fact that Ryoma Sakamoto and Oryou were married? Apparently, life is too confusing.

Anyway, I need to get going. I have to get to Sakamoto-San before his balls fall off.

Sincerely, Mutsu

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**Come to think of it, I have a question (Out of curiosity, I mean). Do people like Katsura and Ikumatsu as a couple, because the real Kogoro Katsura and Ikumatsu got married? :O**

**Anyway, I think I should list out the rest of the characters for this "story", so that I won't forget. I'll still do Ayame "Sa-Chan" Sarutobi, Zenzo Hattori (Though I haven't decided if I really want to do him or not), Tsukuyo, Kyubei Yagyu, Kamui, Taizo Hasegawa, and Nobume Imai. As for the rest of the Gintama cast (That weren't mentioned), sorry, but I won't write letters for them, no exceptions. :P**

**Hope you enjoyed Mutsu's "letter"! :)**


	16. Ayame Sarutobi

**Rinoaterra: Meh, I don't have anything to say about Oryou. She almost _never _appears in the anime. :P And I like SakaMutsu, but I don't really care about it.**

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Are you saying they should fall of a bridge (Because I couldn't exactly understand what you meant by "let them fall off")? :O As for fans not getting into the historical detail of Katsura and Ikumatsu, and Ryoma Sakamoto and Oryou, I'm not too surprised by that. I don't really pay attention - or follow - to most historical facts, but I found out about the pairings I mentioned a while ago. :P**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

How come there're more fics with Gin-San being paired with that blonde bitch (Before you ask, yes, I'm talking about Tsukuyo) than him being paired with me?! He deserves to be with _me_, dammit! Besides, that bitch won't even admit that she loves him! She's a freaking Tsundere, for masochists' sake!

Alright, now that I've gotten my anger out of the way, I can talk about a few other things. Firstly, I know that my glasses always tend to fall off my face – somehow – and I have _really _horrible eyesight (Seriously, they're so horrible, that it looks like I'm just staring at colorful boulders). Secondly, I am still a masochist, and although I enjoy pain – both physically and mentally – I prefer Gin-San to hurt me the most. And finally, I still stalk him, and I don't give a crap if it's illegal! I'm gonna keep stalking him, whether he likes it or not! HAHAHAHAHA!

But what I realized a while ago is that I don't have very many fans. I guess I shouldn't complain about that, since you weird fangirls dream of stealing my Gin-San, and hovering all over his sexy muscles. If that actually happened, then I would kick your ass, because like I said, he's mine, mine, _MINE_! And if you hate me because I love Gin-San, or those three things I mentioned a moment ago, then you're just a sore loser, who drools unconsciously over my sexy Gin-San! If you were drooling over some other guy in Gintama, then I wouldn't care. Gin-San, however, is a _completely_ different story.

Speaking of Gin-San, I'm gonna try to find him now, because I want him to smack my ass with this whip. Heh heh.

Sincerely, Ayame "Sa-Chan" Sarutobi

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**I gotta be honest...I don't like Ayame, not because she likes Gintoki, but because I'm not a huge fan of masochists. ^^;**

**I still don't know whether to write a letter for Hattori or not. I mean, there are a decent amount of fics that have him as a primary character, plus he's been in more than five episodes, but...I just don't know what to say for his letter! I hope I'm not asking too much, but can someone help me with Hattori's letter? If not, then I'll just skip him, because honestly, I haven't read that much Fanfiction that includes him. XP**

**Hope you enjoyed Ayame's "letter"! :)**


	17. Tsukuyo

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Yep, Ayame probably has the biggest problems. XD**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

Wh-Why do you authors think that I'm in love with Gintoki?! I-I don't have f-feelings for him! And even if I d-did, I would never want to express my feelings! And also, just because I was part of the harem in the Scandal arc, doesn't mean that I love him!

While I'm on the subject on that, I recently found out that most of the stories (Most of them are one-shots, by the way) that have me being paired with Gintoki are lemons. WHAT?! WHY DO YOU MAKE GINTOKI HAVE SEX WITH ME?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EMBARRASSING THAT IS?! I'M GOING TO THROW MY KUNAI'S AT YOU IF YOU KEEP WRITING THAT CRAP!

How about you write something that _doesn't_ involve romance between me and Gintoki? Like what I did in my childhood (Because you authors _always_ write stories about Gintoki's childhood), or what I did to protect Yoshiwara?

That is all I have to say for this letter. I need to drink some sake.

Sincerely, Tsukuyo

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**Yep, I decided to skip Hattori, because there's literally _nothing _to say about him. :P**

**Anyway, I should let you know that I hated the Scandal arc. But despite that, I will still be a huge fan of Gintama.**

**Hope you enjoyed Tsukuyo's "letter"! :)**


	18. Kyubei Yagyu

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Haha, Tsukuyo is a Tsundere, after all. XD**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

Most of the stories that have me as a primary character, I'm paired with Tae-Chan. I am actually a little embarrassed – and a bit mortified – by this, because Tae-Chan only wants me to be her friend. Yes, I did kiss her in the Yagyu arc, but I think some of you authors are taking it a little too far. Hell, there're even a few lemons that feature us, which makes me even _more _embarrassed.

But I guess I shouldn't blame the authors, since I have an automatic reflex against men. Wait, did I just go a bit out-of-character there?

Sincerely, Kyubei Yagyu

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**Kyubei's letter was a pain. -_- I hope I didn't make her too OOC for her letter.**

**Hope you enjoyed Kyubei's "letter", anyway! :)**


	19. Kamui

Dear Fanfiction writers,

Why do you authors tend to pair me up with humans, when it comes to OC stories? You should remember that I think humans are weaklings, because we Yatos are stronger than them. Sure, I may look human, but that doesn't mean I'm actually one. I'm fairly certain you forgot about this, but I'm a _Yato_.

What I'm also confused at is you authors pairing me up with either Takasugi, or my sister. Takasugi's my rival, not my sex-buddy. I could say the same for my little sister. Also, I'll let you judge on whether or not I love my sister anymore. Though it'd be _much _better if you didn't write about me kissing my sister, because that's incest.

By the way, in case you couldn't tell already, I'm giving you my evil smile. You better try to run and hide from me, because when I find you, I'll do something _really _bad to you.

Sincerely, Kamui

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**Yeah, Kamui's not happy with being paired with humans (Plus his little sister, Kagura). XD**

**I'm doing two more characters for this, and it'll be done. And Dokiprez, I'm very sorry to say this, but I decided to not do the responses for your "letters" to the characters. :(**

**Hope you enjoyed Kamui's "letter"! :)**


	20. Taizo Hasegawa

Dear Fanfiction writers,

Hold on a second, am I supposed to be talking about my role in Fanfiction? Well, there's not much to talk about, really. I don't appear very often in your stories, that's for sure. I'm just a MADAO, who's trying to find a job that _won't _get me fired on the first day. It's frustrating enough when I have to live in the streets until I can at least find a decent job, even if I hate it. But even then, I get fired, because of the Yorozuya idiots (But it's also because of my special sunglasses and goatee).

But, the only thing I'm happy about is that someone bothered to write a short one-shot about my birthday, with my estranged wife in it! You don't know how happy that makes me! Yes, I am aware that my wife, Hatsu, very rarely appears in the series – which makes her a _very _forgettable character – but it still makes me happy.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to apply for a job at a strip club.

Sincerely, Taizo "MADAO" Hasegawa

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**In case anyone was wondering, the one-shot Hasegawa was talking about is actually a one-shot, titled "Birthday Presents" by Rasei. And apparently, it is the only story/one-shot that actually includes Hatsu.**

**I just have one more "letter" left for this series.**

**Hope you enjoyed Taizo's (A.K.A. MADAO) "letter"! :)**


	21. Nobume Imai

Dear Fanfiction writers,

I am not interested into Sougo Okita, or Kamui. I don't even know who this Kamui is, though I've been told by Sasaki-San that he's part of the Harusame. Sasaki-San also told me that Kamui's a Yato.

Which leads me to this question. Why? Why do you pair me up with a Yato, or even Sougo Okita? It doesn't make any sense, because I'm a sadistic woman (Possibly more sadistic than Sougo Okita), who's – if you didn't guess – not at all interested into dating. And even if I wanted a boyfriend, I'd probably be the _worst_ girlfriend ever.

Why don't you try to write a story about how I met Sasaki-San? Maybe then I won't have to cut you up for pairing me with the Captain of the Shinsengumi, or a Yato.

Sincerely, Nobume Imai

P.S. If I see any doughtnuts, they're _mine_.

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**Well, that's it! This "story" is done! And I must say, I was quite shocked at how many people read this. XD At least you enjoyed this (I hope)!**

**Thank you _Yueren shirahane_, _C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only_, _Dokiprez_, _Daniloveswriting_, _Ale_ (Guest), _Yamadadhy_, _Anpananpan_ (Guest), _Rinoaterra_, and _DanTE1203_ for reviewing "Even Characters in Gintama Read Fanfiction"! :) And to those who didn't review, but still read this, thank you for reading! :)**


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